dirty basic thoughts. i know are flooding through your mind.
you are a teenager trapped in a womans form. a big box that cuts you from time to time.
inside of those melting eyes i see
someone scared to even look
around
even when you are
scanning every surface and scaling every entity you meet
with some naive little wonder.
so tonight your phone is off because you dont have to go into work at midnight like every day
and bake pre-made commercial bakery shit for hungry suburbanites
fiending for childhood.
and i am sad again by myself. even though you do not understand why this happens at all. being with you has cut my depression into two-hour maximum sentences. sentenced every three weeks or so.
and that is a good thing.
but you cant grasp why some things make me quieter than i can normally get. or chase me down to my shoes, smoothing out my shirt.
so tonight i half heartedly looked for some new job. one that pays around (over) $10 an hour and can get my sorry ass out of a brick hole with monkeys gripping like leeches with monkey-like hands to my back.
i searched one website and realized. that when you said, i love you and that is all that matters right now. really only applied to that moment right then. that i felt like you were making the truth sound so unbelievable.