sometimes i just need to tell someone that i love them with all of my hungry, needy heart (+ self)
but then i do and it is just plain sweet sentiment. maybe a small smile.
i know it means something to you (you who i melt for).
but i am still avoiding eyes and standing very stiffly while you are around.
you are warm and i wish i could laugh like you do. so whole heartedly and frequently. bend over when i am a bit embarassed and smiling enormous. like you do.
but then again. maybe i am just needy and lonely and feeling like i need love. but still knowing that nothing ends without it. theres always some somewhere around.
and only the honest kind is any good really. in a soothe-you, rebuild-you sort of way.
maybe i am just tired of sickness and long hours and still cleaning up a mess that never stays put. just spreads out over everything i see.
sometimes i find someone who aches and i go back to the basics. fix. mend. send. (but actually they just end up leaving. having grown out of my help).
i am okay with this. there are a millions of hearts souls minds calling out. and i am still saying this
i love you i love you i love you. to so many of the amazing lights in my life.