you call and you call and you call and no one picks up. when they answer its just a bunch of hurried manners. nothing fresh. nothing new. nothing true. i cant like it like this.
i make a tie with you. and i have avoided this for awhile now. because i didnt think i had the time. all of the time. to put into someone else. like time should be put in.
but you dont call and you dont write. and its okay like that. maybe i was forgetting that you dont have to really put yourself into anything. to make it yours.
things suck like that. i dont like that either. no talk. just a bunch of letters. pushed in someones direction. a few days of company and then a convenient dropoff.
okay so im sad. okay. and i dont pretend for just anyone. a little slouch. a hunch in my back. this is just something that shows. i have forgotten that anyone is there. and i dont pretend for just anyone.
utah phillips and ani are playing bum on the rod. utahs voice is amazing when you listen and even when you dont.
someone is shouting outside of the window. yelling about sex and bullshit. politics and things. its hot and ive heard enough. at one oclock every night. someone is always excited about something. their voice echoing into every room in this place.